Birthdays

The celebration of the day one is born is a big deal to some people in some cultures. I know that my family has used it as a time to celebrate the person, celebrate the good they have done in our lives and let them know how much we love them. I've always thought this was just the way things went; for my siblings birthdays I would compliment them, give gifts to them, do some of their chores, etc. On my birthday, I'd enjoy the displays of love that I'd receive. I think this is a rather standard view on birthdays, a day of self indulgence and joy.

A birthday cake, the universal symbol of growing older and having fun

One December birthday, while celebrating my father's birthday, my dad did something that changed how I think about birthdays. It was my dad's day; we kids were trying to be nice to each other, by good to our mother, and making my dad's day worthy of being called as such. Then, at the birthday party where everybody was gathered (including my grandma, his mom), my dad produced a bouquet of flowers to give to my grandma. He then proceeded to thank her for all the things she had done in his life, not the least of which was giving him life. After all, we didn't do all that much on our first birthday; it was almost all our mother's work.

This act of humility, of taking something I had been taking for granted and looking at the source of the blessing, will forever make me think of the things my mom has done for me. My birthday, while certainly a fun time to hear well wishes, is a time to thank those around me, to thank my mom, but to also thank my God. I am thankful for my life, both its basic existence and also for the bountiful blessings I've experienced. I am grateful for the many reminders I have of my own inadequacies, and the chance I have, through Christ and His Atonement, to perfect myself and become a better person. My birthday was yesterday, but every day I have the chance to be thankful, be humble, and be faithful. I hope you use your time to look for the good things, and then your life will be filled with them.

Canoes and Crows

As a youth, I was fortunate enough to enjoy several "aquatic excursions" on the rivers found in the mid-northern Appalachians. These have ranged from simple tubing trips down a creek or a river, to whitewater rafting with multiple intense moments. One particular trip involved a mild river, traveled with the aid of canoes. It was a shallow river, and several of our group wound up on rocks and tipped their boat as a result of it. Fortunately, my boat never did force us to test our floatation devices, but I would be a fool if I took the credit for that.

I've always lacked a bit of coordination in a boat. Most of that is because I've lacked coordination on land; I simply do not consciously control every place my body is. I can paddle hard and use my strength, but if I'm not careful that very strength is what tips me over. So, if I where placed in a canoe all by myself I would have been swimming down half that river. Instead, I had the help of another that was much better at boating. It was him that would guide the canoe, dodging rocks and finding channels. I would listen for his instructions, and then do my very best to follow them, be it paddle hard, back paddle left, switch sides, etc. Because of the teamwork, we were able to reach the end of the trip and take an enjoyable swim (instead of a forced one). This entire experience reminds me of a poem, About Crows by John Ciardi.

The old crow is getting slow; 
the young crow is not.
Of what the young crow does not know,
the old crow knows a lot.

At knowing things, the old crow is still
the young crow's master.
What does the old crow not know? 
How to go faster.

The young crow flies above, below, and rings
around the slow old crow.
What does the fast young crow not know?
WHERE TO GO.

I was like that young crow. I knew how to paddle hard and so we were able to speed past some obstacles. However, I didn't know where to paddle or which direction would keep us safe. My boat-mate did. The only reason we were able to get to the end was because we combined our abilities; I wasn't proud in my strength, and he didn't try to go by himself. In our daily lives, we need to remember that we are imperfect. Sometimes we are the young crow, full of talent or ability but not yet wise. We need to listen to the old crows, those that know more than we do and instruct us. Those leaders, family members, or perhaps wise friends may have greater wisdom than we do and can help us best us our strengths and abilities. Of course, their are plenty that don't have the same wisdom we do; it to these that we need to be the old crows, guiding those we are able to and helping them rise to their potential. I know that as we strive to be better, both in accepting help and helping others, we can all get down the river of life with minimal swimming trips.

Opposition, Wrestling, and Training

When I wrestled, my usual weight class was 189. This is the 3rd heaviest weight class in high school, and so I was a good deal larger and stronger than most of my teammates. If I wanted an easy match-up for practice, I could choose the 112 or even 145, and I'd be able to go through practice hardly breaking a sweat while my foe would be straining, trying to move more mass than he ever would need to in a match. However, we didn't get to choose our practice partners. Our coach would pair us up with whoever he wanted us to, and for me that was quite often our heavyweights (which could weigh up to 285). In these practices, I'd be the one pushing hard and straining to move mass greater than I normally would be called on to endure. This might not seem fair, but the fact that I normally practiced with heavier opponents allowed me to be stronger and more prepared for match day. This is the greatest reason we have for why opposition is so crucial in this life; having more required of us allows us to grow more and to become stronger for it.

A simple illustration of the match-ups

That makes enough sense. If our life is a time to grow, then we'll be given exercises and practices that will expand our abilities, test our skills, and develop our characters. So why does life seem so unfair at times? Even when we have the comfort that our trials will be for our benefit, it is still no fun to go through them. Let me share with you another wrestling trial: since my wrestling team was short a few members, I would often wrestle up a class; while still weighing in at 189 or less, I'd wrestle those in the 215 weight class. On match day, not just during practice, I'd be put up against somebody heavier and (often) stronger than I was. This is no longer time to grow and develop, a practice with no affect on my record; I was simply having a match that was tougher than those around me and that I didn't feel prepared for. Our trials in life often look like this; we are under-prepared, under-weight, under-skilled, and we don't have the freedom of mistakes that comes with practice. How can we grow when we are in such an predicament?

It is these instances that we learn what we can't anywhere else. In my matches, I learned endurance, humility, and occasionally self-confidence. In life circumstances we learn similar things; endurance through trials, humility to trust in the Lord, and self-confidence when we finish our trial. In every match I wrestled up, I was able to go in with confidence and cheer because I knew that simply winning wasn't all; if I could resist the pin, I'd help my team with points. If I failed, I could learn to be better next time. Life's trials might not be changed simply by how we feel when we go into them, but we will be changed by our approach to difficult times.

Pride's Many Faces

Pride is a tricky thing, something that most of us have in some form or another and gets in the way of so many important parts of the gospel. A prideful person will resist correction, be offended easily, and lack the guidance of the Holy Ghost, among many more consequences. What makes pride worse is that it can sneak up on us, seeming to be something harmless or even good. I know that I've had problems with pride more than any other thing, and that as I look closer at the things I'm doing wrong I recognize an element of pride in every single one.

A pride of lions. Clever, eh?

So, what is pride, and how is it so invasive? Pride is the placing of your will above that of another, or it is the thinking that you are more something than somebody else, or it is the thought that you can do something and get away with it. Pride is potentially many more things, but because I'm an imperfect philosopher I'm limiting myself to something I can handle. If we were perfectly humble, we'd obey God perfectly because we would realize that we are next to nothing without help. If we weren't prideful, we'd not be depressed at our shortcomings because we'd know ours are not the worst and we can all receive help as we need it. If we humbled ourselves, we would not be trapped by sins because we would realize that we are not entitled to stray from the righteous path.

I'm the sort of person that likes to categorize things and say more with less (not that I'm all that great at it). I've thought about pride a little bit recently, and I've recognized pride in my foibles that I need to overcome. It is because of pride that we are asked to "become as a little child" (3 Nephi 11:37), who is humble enough to obey the Father's corrections. As we correct our prideful tendencies, seek ways to humbly follow Christ, and seek His help through prayer we will become better people, of this I am confident.

One thing to be cautious with this topic is being too submissive to too many things. A certain amount of "pride" in righteous things, or happiness to do something in front of others, can help us make good choices, and resist the influence of people we do not want to follow. I've known people that through righteous pride have struggled through difficult times in order to accomplish important goals, and having pride in family members can brighten their day. Humble yourself to the Lord, and be stubborn to those that oppose him.

One request that I have for you is to humbly consider several things: the Book of Mormon, our message about the Restoration, and then meeting with missionaries. I cannot say this enough, because even sharing it constantly isn't enough, but I know that this is the truth and that you can know too.

Wrestling

One of my first real moments of applying the scriptures to myself happened a few years ago, after I'd been wrestling for a while. It involved taking something I'd heard in the scriptures countless times, and applying it to something that was new in my life in a way I hadn't though of before.

I'm on the left, crossing my feet. Still need to learn.

For those that know a bit about wrestling, there are many facets of the sport that are required to be mastered before you can be even a little good, such as how to stand (stance), how to attack (shoot), how to defend (sprawl), how to win (pin or score points). The first thing that I learned was that this was going to be hard, after 45 minutes or so of near solid running during the first practice. The next thing I'm not sure, but one of the early instructions was on how to improve my stance. Stay low, stay on your toes, don't cross your feet, and keep a stiff neck. Another time I learned how to improve my defense and avoid being pinned. Control my center of gravity, stay off my back, and be ready to keep my neck stiff. With offense, the key was speed, form, and using my neck at times to control where I was going.

Do you see the common thread? During a sport like wrestling, having a strong neck will help you go where you want to go and prevent you from being subject to the wiles of your opponent. When almost on my back, I could keep going if I just had my neck rigid and keeping my shoulders off the mat. When facing somebody better on his feet than I was, if I kept my neck strong I'd be able to shrug off some of his attacks and not be whipped around by him. I was then reading in the scriptures and remembered all the times that "stiff necks"(2 Nephi 28:14) or "stiffnecked people" (Mosiah 13:29) where mentioned and condemned. Why would something so essential in one activity be condemned in religion? Because of the person we are being stiffnecked against.

In wrestling, having a stiff neck is you resisting your opponent's will and going your own direction. This is the idea and goal. In scriptures, having a stiff neck is resisting the will of God and instead striving to do your own thing. This is being prideful and will only result in frustration and humbling experiences. What we need to do is to shake our necks out, relax them for a while, and follow the directions of the prophets, both ancient and modern. As we do that we will find greater peace and ability in our lives, for we know God "will guide you into all truth" (John 16:13) and bring us happiness. I know that I've experienced my truest joy as I follow the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that you can too.

This was not my first moments of "applying" scripture to myself. I've often read 1 Nephi 3:7 and thought to myself "Yeah, I just need to go and do and the Lord will provide a way," and that is certainly a way to apply the scriptures to our lives. The next step is to see how anything we do can be related to the scriptures, and so our scripture study becomes meaningful and significant every day. I know that you can find similar mental bridges between the scriptures and yourself, and that in doing so you will find your scripture study personally significant every single day.